find the courage to change your life

One of the hardest parts about change is making the decision to move it forward. Depending on the decision at hand, you may have to ponder for days, weeks, months, or even years. There is an endless list of arguments for and against, tossing and turning, daydreaming, and nauseating until one day you make up your mind. Then, of course, there are other big decisions you make quickly.

What is the difference between a hard decision and an easy decision? Often it comes down to fear. Fear of making the wrong choice, fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of disappointing someone else, etc. And what do you need to do to face those fears?

Courage: The ability to do things that frighten people.

Doing things that scare yourself is easier said than done, but here are four things that work for me.

1. Trust your intuition

Most of the time you already know the answer. Trust your intuition. Your instincts are usually right.

2. “Look at yourself in the mirror” exercise

It should be you who wakes up every day and looks at yourself in the mirror. Yes, sure, we look at ourselves every day while we brush our teeth, put on our makeup, check our appearance, but it’s all passive mirror time. , talking about intentional pauses to look into your own eyes. Ask yourself, what do you want? are you happy? Ask yourself about the decision at hand and whether you’ll disappoint yourself if you don’t move forward with the change.

I found this exercise when I was frustrated with my relationship and didn’t have the courage to get out of it. I felt like I was on an escalator that went up to the end of the aisle, like an escalator going down at a wedding, and I didn’t know how to get off. Even though I knew deep down that it wasn’t right, I always tried to convince myself otherwise. I glanced at myself and burst into tears. I approached the mirror and looked into my own eyes and all I saw was disappointment. I was disappointed that I allowed myself to be unhappy because I was afraid of disappointing myself. But do you know what I was more afraid of? I am forever disappointed in myself. At that moment, I made up my mind to end it.

3. Mantra/Quote

It may look cheesy, but remember all Pinterest worthy quotes that are true. Print them out, make them your phone background and read them when you wake up! Please use it as a little relief snack. What I like:
– Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
– Nothing is permanent.
– Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
-You are the artist in your life. Do not give your paintbrush to others.
・If you don’t change direction, you may end up in the direction you are heading.
– Also, you have permission to change your mind at any time.
– What if you want to look back?
– The only way to find out is to do it.
– You can challenge as many times as you like.
– Growing up is a pain. Change is painful. But nothing hurts more than being stuck where you don’t belong.
– No risk, no reward.
-Be the best version of yourself.

4. Imagine the future of that decision

Similar to the art of manifesto, I like to visualize myself on either side of a decision. Daydream for a few minutes about what it will be like. what is your routine like? how do you feel? Do you feel good (beyond fear)? How do you feel after the novelty of the decision wears off? Does it feel forced and wrong? Do you crave life before your decisions?

I hope it will be helpful for those who are forced to make a big decision. Whether it’s a career change, letting go of a relationship (including friendships!), starting a family, moving to a new place, or simply chopping off your hair. is difficult, but usually worth it! And, worst of all, even if it doesn’t work out, try again and again and grow from each experience.